Wow what a day it has been, a day of
feeling used and abused or was it the day that was used and abused, I’m not
sure? The day started out with burnt
buns, hot cross buns to be precise and a large cup of tea. I was so busy watching the yummy mummies take
their kids to school that I forgot my buns.
You know for a dad it can be quite intimidating standing in a school
playground surrounded my attractive mum’s; I use to hate taking and picking the
kids up from school and before you say it no I am not some lecherous old man
either. Anyway even though they were
burnt they still tasted nice and went down well with a cup of tea.
I then set about emptying the bins, washing
up and having a shower that turned out to be a mistake, as you will find out
later. It was then off to the shops for
so vegetables for today’s and tomorrows dinner.
I popped down to the local co-op mini mart, like the use of an American
saying, and it was spotless, no cages, products pile on the floor and
mess. I soon found out why, there was
snooty looking man with a tablet going around checking the store, inspection
day clearly. Tapping the screen and
looking over his glasses he wandered around.
It was then back to the flat to have some
fun with my new home studio kit testing it out. This is where the shower was a mistake, I
only have two lights but they certainly get very hot and it was not long before
I knew it. So the rest of the day was
spent indulging my passions that involved making the bed twice. I initially set the studio up in the bedroom
but soon found out I could not achieve the photographs I wanted. I only used the bedroom as it is one of the
darkness rooms in the flat and that would allow me to playing with the studio
lighting more before you say anything.
So I moved to the living room which is more
spacious but required more effort to get the lighting right. I unpacked the backdrops to find them creased
and was just about to charge off for the iron when I had an idea. I will tell you about it later on. So my first steps into portraiture have been
made, clumsy yes, basic for sure but I am excited by the possibilities.
Now as you know I have grown a pair
recently and I have to say I am finding it very exciting and refreshing. It does not mean, however, that I have become
cold and calculated, far from it. I am
still the same passion, chirpy, cheeky chap but just not carrying the baggage
from the past around with me everywhere I go.
The past is the past; it is in my memories, my desk draw, jewelry box,
bookshelf or kitchen. It is parked
outside in front of the flat; it is the equipment I use to take photographs but
it is not a burden any more. I have put
the past in the past and can now look on it without fear.
What I am having a problem with is the
present, in particular my drinking and this is where I need to man up too. I know the damage it is doing to every aspect
of my life even if it is gradual. So
today I let it into my world of photography and it did not feel good, in fact I
struggled with it. I did not like the taste
and I did not like the fact it was imposing on a very special place. But it needs to be done, as I needed my
drinking to touch every aspect of my life.
It has now well and truly pissed me off and for the right reasons I am
very angry.
I am going to stop living my life in a
padded ceil that is alcohol and I am going to move on. The fact that I had to photograph myself with a
drink is not sitting happy and does not feel good. It has touched a nerve for sure and the
photographs below are covered in the title “The Naked Truth”.
I am going to make no apologizes for the
photographs as they represent how I feel about my battle against alcohol hence
the title. If you are wondering about the socks they are my lazying about socks, seen better days but they are so comfortable. After all I did not want to be completely naked that would not be in the best of taste would it?
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