I hope this post finds you well and having enjoyed a warm and sunny weekend full of good food, refreshing drinks and quality time with peeps that matter or just chilling and doing your own thing.
I am feeling a little more relaxed then yesterday but anxiety is still following me around. Going through and putting my photography
gear up for sale was emotionally interesting for sure, extremely difficult and
tiring. I know they are only pieces of
hardware, things made out of plastic, metal and glass, but it is what they
allow me to do is the reason they mean so much to me. I have never felt so passionately about
something that is not another human soul.
Over the course of the night as I posted the gear up for sale I thought
more and more about what my photography means to me. The more I understood the more I began to
realize that it runs deeper and has more of a hold on me than I thought. Selling doesn’t and still does not feel right
and it is not sitting well with me. Yes
it is possibly a knee jerk reaction but if I do not try and cover all the bases
now it might be to late. With such an
uncertain future I need to be covered.
I have no one else to blame other than
myself for this mess and if sell my gear is what is required then it is going
to be the hardest lesson I can learn. It
has woken me up for sure, not that I was asleep, but it has hit home hard. My photography has got me through some very
difficult times and it is the one place I can have my personal space and
time. It somewhere I can let my emotions
and feelings have free rein and I can truly feel relaxed and myself.
Since picking up a camera and starting my
journey of discovery I have tried my hand as some of the many avenues
photography has to offer. If it is not
photographing a specific subject or location such as Didcot Railway Centre or
Polperro in Cornwall, landscapes, birds, street photography and abstract. One of my favourite subjects to photograph are churches and
I have photographed many of local churches and it is something I enjoy so much.
My photography has evolved and in the last
12 months many focusing on church and street photography although with work and
personal life taking a large chunk of my time up not much as been happening of
late. I have not done any studying of
late and not been very active in the forums and societies I am a member
off. I have spent a good portion of my
time revisiting my photographic archives and reprocessed some of my work in
black and white. Not a medium I have used
much in the past.
Photography is a colourful adventure and
has so much depth it is a world I love to lose myself in. I need to give my photography more of my time
and I think like sorting out my personal issues I am going to keep it
simple. I am not going to run around
photographing everything and anything. I
was working towards a distinction with the Royal Photographic Society but that
is now going to have to go on hold as will my membership. I am hoping to complete my photography course
although it is going to take longer than anticipated.
I am in two minds as to the subject but I
think it needs to be a single subject other than that required by my course. I have been thinking about my street
photography, my church photography and the self portrait project unless someone
else can come up with a theme or subject.
I think I need some space to think about me
as a person and take a good long hard look at what I have become or more to the
point what sort of person I am at the moment.
I have been focusing on physical and practical issues and I may have
just lost sight of the personal side a wee bit.
There is more than just trying to be a happy chap for sure. I do feel stronger and more confident as a whole which is good and that will help I am sure.
So if you have an idea for a subject or
theme for me to photograph let me know I would be interested to hear.
So off to work tomorrow to face the bosses and the music, going to be an interesting back to work interview for sure!
Until next time take care, I am off to find
out how Arthur Dent is getting on, or not as the case maybe.
Si x
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