Friday, 27 June 2014

Ops, Bang, Crash, Wallop

Keep it simple, one step at a time was the aim and it was working so well.  At the moment things are not going well as another night with only a few hours sleep testifies.  I had big plans today but thanks to the lack of sleep it was not possible to carry them out.  Instead I tucked myself up behind a trolley and quietly got on with the shopping until 8am.

The reason for the lack of sleep, a very busy head that just refuses to clear or allow me to get to my personal box that was very kindly given to me.  It is as if my thoughts and emotions have been hijacked and are being held to ransom by myself.  The addition of the uncertain concerning the flat is playing heavily and is not sitting well and I might be imagining it but something else has changed too yet I cannot get a clear picture of what.  I am beginning to think I was taking on to much to soon becoming blinkered to the fact that I needed to consolidate what I had before moving on to the next step.  So I have changed my approach slightly and it is no longer keep it simple it is KISS, Keep It Simple Stupid.  So from now on this idiot is going to listen to KISS first and fore most.  If it means losing everything bar the people I love and care for and photography then that is what is going to happen.

It is almost like I find myself sitting in a dark corner crouched with stick in hand waiting for something to come out of the darkness.  Listening to every sound and movement wondering if it is safe to move out of the corner.  I feel a bit like Arthur Dent at the moment.  I finished Douglas Adams Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy series last night, my annual journey following Arthur Dent and company around the universe.  Arthur was thrust into a place of infinite number of parallel universes and spends a troubled time trying to find home.  He succeeds briefly becoming a Sandwich marker but he was ultimately denied that privilege too and beginning to wonder when he would be at peace he has the briefest moments when he finally understands that it has arrived.  All I want to do now is make sandwiches and enjoy it, settle down somewhere that will allow me to achieve this.  A place where the day is just the right length, not to long as to become tiresome yet not to short to allow me to make just the right number of sandwiches.  A place where the weather will make its own mind up but where thunder storms are not the merest of polite coughs but good enough to clear the air ready for it to start all over again.  A place where gossip, bitching and bullying are isolated to things that live under small rocks and there are plenty of smiles, hugs and friendly faces.

Having paid my annual homage to Arthur Dent I now face the difficult task of picking the next thing to read and I am unsure in which direction I want to go.  I could briefly continue my HHGTTG journey but under the stewardship of Eion Colfer with “And Another Thing” and then face the difficult choice of what to read next.  But having finished the Douglas Adams set and not being able to sleep I hunted my Kindle library for that book on Photography projects I thought I had.  Having found it I started to read and but after an hour I was not inspired by any of the projects on offer.  I made myself a drink got myself comfortable in bed and continued reading and a few chapters later bingo a KISS arrived.  A chapter dedicated to a photography project entitled Keep It Simple Stupid.  So that is going to be my photography project for now.  It for sure it can be interrupted in many ways but that is going to be half the fun.  So the next time I go out with the camera I am going to have KISS in mind.  A photographic project where the aim is to de-clutter my head and look at the world with a fresh pair of eyes, seeing beyond what I normally see and take for granted.  What this will result in is anyone’s guess but her goes.

Personally I need to step back to the last point in time that I was feeling in control, happy and confident because I am not any of those at the moment.  This chirpy chap needs to get his head down and think and think hard.  I have lots of small thoughts populating my head and I need to sort them out and dismiss that which is not necessary or that warrants being there at this point in time.

The sum total of everything going on is not sitting pretty I only hope I have the strength and mind to make the right choices.  Sitting pretty I am not, pretty I am not.

Until the next time sleep well and take care.


Si x

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