I am having so much fun at work it is
unbelievable and very refreshing. Today
was another excellent day full of hard work, fun, laughter and of course
mischief. Again the atmosphere was
lighthearted and relaxing with the laughter rattling down the aisles. Smiles were worn with pride and with the
exception of a few poor colleagues who were not even 50% most had a bounce in their
step.
It is very frustrating to see someone
suffer and there be very little that can be done about it. I know three people who are very close to me
who suffer in the same way and it is painful to watch them struggle. There is nothing those around them on a day
to day basis can do to help other than be there and support them as much as
possible. Me I try and make people smile
and laugh, have a joke about it and put a funny side to it all. Yes there are times when that is not the
best approach but it is amazing how much better a good smile and laugh makes
one feel. But those on the outside have to
realise and accept that there is only so much they can do to help. It is frustrating I know but there is a point
when those who are feeling unwell, sad, depressed or in pain need their own
space. Yes they need support as well and
often they are not based placed to tell you when it is required but don’t bite
when they get it wrong when trying to tell you.
I know that sounds like an open book for
anyone suffering to behave as they want but in the majority of cases we don’t
and won’t. When I went through what can
only be described as the darkest period of my life I often sort the attention
of those outside and in one or two cases I called on the wrong people to help
but I soon learnt. Equally I needed my
own space and time to the point where I took off to my favourite place,
Pollperro, on my own. Well I was not
completely alone I had my camera of course.
I just need time to myself to gather my thoughts without the
distractions of those I love. It made me
understand how to help those who supported and cared for me as much as I needed
them. I began to understand that I
needed to make as much effort as those trying to help me. I needed to help myself first and fore most,
after all unless I made the effort no one was going to be able to do it for me. We all have to help ourselves but what a lot
of people do not understand is that we do not have to do it all. We have to make the first few steps and
understand that whatever the road ahead has in store if we can keep looking
forward with the help of those around us we can get through it. We don’t have to look back and try and
understand straight away, we are never strong enough to do that, this is where
those around us come in, getting us over the initial hurdles and keeping us
pointing in the right direction. Sooner
or later we all find the strength to continue the battle and start to reflect
on the journey we have started. We have
the strength to look back into that darkness and slowly start to understand it. I’ve just started the looking back part, it
has taken a while to get there but I now have the strength to peer over my
shoulder. I still have issues but rather
than count them on my fingers and toes I can hold up one hand now. Yes my emotional SatNav wants to send by back
towards the darkness at random but I have learnt to switch it off and on again
so it carries pointing in the right direction.
We may all suffer but the one thing we need to
do is be open and honest with those around us about it.
Sometimes the people on the outside do not get it and the more we can
tell them the better, do not leave them standing it is not fair. Even the most unlikely person can be a source
of comfort.
I feel lucky in a sense that I have been
able to start my journey of discovery and so far I have not been returned to go
for throwing three doubles. At times I
have felt like a very small and weak person because I have caused so much
disruption in mine and the lives of those around me. I have often sat and though there are people
in this world who are worst off than me, why am I feeling sorry for myself? Well there are something’s that
we face in life that are not just the spur of the moment that cannot be brushed
off with a causal flick. We each face
challenges in our lives and we all deal with things in a different way but some
challenges prove harder to move than most.
Some times it is the sum total of a lot of small challenges that make
the difference, other times it is a single big challenge that knocks us.
I have yet to face the challenge that I
cannot fight and either win or hold that darkness at bay. One day there will be a challenge that takes
me from this colourful world I live in but until then I know that so long as I
can smile, make people laugh, enjoy their smiles and laughter I am a very lucky
chap. Remember unless you are happy no
one around you will be and you cannot fool them for long if you try.
My hour is up, sorry.
Until the next time take care and smile.
Si x
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