This Tigger has found a new bounce.

Today has been amazing, I have only felt this good whilst behind my camera or making love.  I’m not going to tell you which one of the last two comes out top that would be telling!  I awoke from dreamland rubbing my eyes, reached out for the floor with my toes waiting for the carpet to confirm that my alarm had in fact gone off.  As I sat up I stretched and opened my sleepy eyes it hit me, an eagerness to get on with the day.  There I was just before 3am after a reasonable nights sleep wanting to rush head long into the day bursting with so much energy, it was scary.  I made breakfast with zeal, got my snack and drink ready for the morning’s work and set off.

The journey to work seems so clear, no fog or mist, no haziness just a clear view.  At first I thought it was my new glasses but I then realized that I have been wearing for over two weeks now.  No the weather had not changed I had, I was not driving to work under the effects of a previous days drinking.  No dry mouth, no wobbly tummy or numb body, I felt so alive.  Do you know what else was different; I did not have any apprehensions about work, work issues or anything else for that matter?  I had got up this morning not worrying about anything having not planned any tasks other than go to work.  Now that I have dismissed all the insignificant issues that were bothering me there was nothing to spoil the joy of getting to and doing a days work.

Actually working felt so much better too, I was able to focus on the job in hand and shopped well and quickly.  I did bread today, it was not my day, so I can only assume they were taking advantage of my previous comments of put me where you need me most.  There was no fumbling about, very few second guesses in selecting peoples shopping or misreading the handset.  It has to be the best day I have had at work to date.  Mind you I did have to say no to a request from one of the bosses to go out to the front of store and handout leaflets concerning our special online delivery promotion.  The request made me realise that despite my confidence in the day I still have a way to go in myself.  I promise that the next time the request is made I will say yes but in the mean time sorry I let you down.

Today felt so good that I did not start to feel tired until an hour before I finished shopping that was unusual.  I usually start to flag long before then so it was good to feel so much better.  It made me wish I was doing either of the two things I mentioned earlier I felt that good and alive.  Come on when you are feeling that good do you really want to waste all that passion and energy on shopping, no you want to be doing something special and for me that is making love or my photography.

If this is what just taking alcohol out of my life is going to feel like then happy days.  Whilst working I took some time to reflect on my attempts in the past to stop drinking heavily and I cannot remember ever having felt so good about it.  I can only think that I was not mentally in the right place or strong enough to even attempt it.  It has taken until now to gather the strength to start this battle and feel confident that I had carry it on.  I know taking each day as it comes is helping me as it allows me to focus on the small steps.  A good example is that I read last night for the first time in a long while.  It was only the first two chapters of HHGTTG but it felt good and I gave my new reading glasses their first run out too and they work so well.

I am not going to start to run before I can walk and I was a little taken back by how good I have felt today but I am not going to knock it.  I also realize that if I continue to feel this good it also means that I can start to be here for those who need me.  I can actually be useful for once, hopefully less selfish and more respective to the people around me.  So on to tomorrow and all I know is that work is the first order of the day, after that who knows?

If you are wondering the alcohol intake count for today is zero, nothing, zip, or as they say “not a sausage”.

By the way today's post was brought to you whilst listening Simon Webbe and Will Young.  That and several large mugs of tea.

So until next time take care.

Si x